Little Voice

Photo by koster79.

My 14 year old cat, Migs, has a spectrum of voices - most of which we'll hear on any given day: beginning with her sweet little "I like it when you pet me there" mew. 2. her, "but I really want to be on your lap NOW" meoww. 3. her repititious, rather staccato "My bowl is empty & I won't stop meowing until it's full" m' Ow. 4. the "I just woke up from a bad dream & am not quite sure where I am," meOWWW. 5. her rather guteral, "I have a bug trapped in your shoe" meROW, and 6. the still guteral yet muffled Operatic "I've caught a mouse and am carrying around in my mouth" meRWOWuh.

It was the latter that woke me up at 2:46 this morning as she paraded into the bedroom mouse in hand (or mouth as it were).

Now, I'm not generally a squeamish person, yet when mice are involved I tend to mimick those Saturday morning cartoons, where the woman of the house, upon seeing the mouse, shrieks and hops up onto the kitchen chair. It's true. As Migs "played" with the poor creature, letting it go, then chasing and catching it again, I was playing "the floor is made of lava" game - hopping from one piece of furniture to the next.

Finally able to shoo her out onto the sun porch, and freezing my toes off, I (rather bravely, in my mind) picked her up by the scruff, opened the front door, and held her like that until she complained so loudly that she dropped the mouse into the yard where it scurried away (probably making its way back into the house at some weak point along the foundation).

Thus was my late night adventure. (I liked it better when the cats just chased leaves).

I would suggest that just as my cat has voice to match every mood, so do you. I challenge you to find these voices & become aware of them.

Challenge: Find Your Many Voices

If you're not aware of your many voices, ask friends and family. Do you have a sleepy voice? an angry voice? an "I just want to have fun" voice? a sexy voice? a singing in the car voice? how about an "I didn't think anyone was listening" voice? I think you get the idea.

As you're discovering them, write about them. How does your voice change? Write down how your friends or family describe them.... List key descriptive words.

and more fun than anything, Illustrate them! You can make fun of yourself or you can take it quite seriously. - Remember, no one but you has to see your sketchbook/journal, so don't be timid about it. This is an adventure in discovering more about yourself. Remember, the more we learn (even if it's about ourselves) the more neural connections we make & the better able we are to observe and understand our world.

And you may just want to try out some of those voices, when no one's listening, to hear for yourself how they sound and resonate in your body (how do they make you feel?).

(every once in a while, I'll get into my car, close the door, take a deep breath & just scream at the top of my lungs - for no other reason than to scream. My muscles tense, my breathing gets focused, and the sound vibrates through each cell of my body. When I'm through, I feel relaxed and awake. It's very cathartic, you should really try it.)

Your Inner Child

Strange as it may sound, last night I dreamt in flip book images. You remember flip books? the things we used to make in Social Studies class when we got board? We'd draw some little stick figure guy on the lower corner of each page of our notebooks, and when you flipped the pages, he began walking rather disjointedly to some unknown destination?

Okay, well, last night I dreamt in flip book images. I dreamt of a very crudely | simply drawn boy leaping over a bull in much the same manner as the ancient Aegeans. Except rather than a bronze skinned, narrow waisted Aegean figure, the boy was drawn as if a 6 year old, crayon in hand, tongue sticking out in concentration, had drawn it. I remember being rather impressed by this child's artistic ability.

Now Carl Jung would probably point out that this "child" most likely represented an aspect of my inner self (I'd hate to think what Freud would ascribe to the symbols of my dream). As I woke and began writing about the dream, I decided that I was observing and acknowledging my inner child.

How long has it been since you acknowledged your inner child?

Challenge: Let your Inner Child out to play

You can start out slowly, if you like, by just reminiscing about the fonder memories of your childhood. Once done with that, why not write about them? What was your favorite toy as a child? how did it make you feel? How does it make you feel to remember it now?

Activity: Play

List your favorite childhood toys/activities. Once you're done listing &/or writing about them, pick one and either find the toy and play with it, or do the activity. Seriously!

If you can't find the toy to play with - try drawing it exactly as you remember it. Keep in mind that while you are remembering this toy, you're remembering it through the eyes of your 5, 6, 7 year old self - so, if the drawing looks like a kid did it, FABULOUS! That just means you're more in touch with your inner child than you might've thought!

Dreaming in Lists

Image by Hugh Janus.

Last night I dreamt in lists. Each item was in the form of a colored rectangular box that I could lift from the page. I would pick a box, and as I removed it from the page it became three-dimensional - like a small memory card. I then placed the card to my temple and as if through osmosis, the dream was absorbed. Once finished, I replaced the rectangle to its rightful spot on the list where it became, once again, a two-dimensional incorporation of the page, and was checked off.

Strange dream, admittedly. Trying to piece it together, this morning I recorded it in my journal and just began writing.

In her book ArtLessons, Deborah Haynes states that, "writing helps you to understand who you are and what you believe.... You write to find out what you think." And writing will help you understand, if not the dream, then its underlying tenets.

You write to find out what you think.

Activity: Write about a Dream you've had

It doesn't have to be coherent (what dreams are?), it doesn't have to be in complete sentences, & it doesn't have to be a set length. Just write. If all you can remember is the feeling of the dream, start out with that, and go on to write about how it made you feel when you woke up... when you remembered it... right now as you look back on it... etc.

and if you find that you can't write about it, then illustrate it. Before human beings could read or write, they made marks, and those marks had associations known primarily to them. Your challenge here, is to make marks, whether written or drawn, with your dream/unconscious self in mind.

Activity: Illustrate a Dream

Illustrate the dream you had last night.

Most of us dream in incoherent images that make perfect sense at the time of the dreaming, but when we wake up we're left with a jumbled or perplexing set of images/events/feelings. Why not sit down and start drawing bits of images or events that you remember from your dreams?

Can't remember images? then draw feelings - was it a scary dream? what colors do you associate with that? What colors do you remember from your dream? Instead of images, make a page full of dream colors. label them with the associated feelings.

Careful Creativity

I remember, while in art school, noticing how messy everyone's sketchbooks were - covers tattered, pages falling out, books so full that you couldn't close them without breaking the spine. When I looked at mine, even though thoroughly used, it was practically pristine. I felt utter horror at this realization, after all, I thought real artists have messy chaotic sketchbooks. It's a sign of their true genius!

Whether true or not, I set out to have a messy sketchbook, one that was bursting at the seams. One that when you opened it, spilled over into your lap - bridging the world of my imagination to the real world. I even went so far as to rip off the binding, so that when the book was full, I could rebind it in a more suitable fashion. I pulled out pages, ran them through my ink jet printer, then painted or drew on top of them. I threw out all the rules I had originally set for myself & gave my creativity free range to play.

The results were magical - it's not that my artwork or images were any better, but my world seemed to be more vibrant, and my powers of observation more keen. I wasn't a tortured artist, but an invigorated one!

Now, this isn't to say that you should run right out and buy a journal, and tear the binding off (although I'm not stoppin' ya' if you feel so compelled). Remember, we're talking about taking baby steps. And the first step in keeping a sketchbook or journal, is, well, keeping a sketchbook or journal. Seems silly to say, but you first need to actually own it (whether that means going out and buying one, digging up an old one, or making one - it doesn't matter).

It also doesn't have to be "the perfect journal" - all you need is something to write/draw on, something to write/draw with, and the intention to do so. The perfect journal (or sketchbook) will present itself in due time, until then, start practicing with something that will make due.

Activity: Keep a notebook | Journal

As you are walking, meditating, crying... resetting, carry with you the intention of being fully present & your sketchbook, journal, or notebook of somekind. Jot down your observations. If writing is intimidating to you & you're just not sure where to begin, try finishing some of these statements:

1. Today I saw...
   
2. Today I smelled...
   
3. Today I touched [blank], and it felt...
   
4. Today I felt (physically)...
   
5. Today I felt (emotionally)...
   
6. I remember a time when...
   
7. It really makes me want to...

Start with these, but by no means limit yourself. You can make up your own statements, or just free form it.

If you're not into writing, try your hand at sketching or doodling. You can even cut out images you like and paste 'em into your book - remember, no one has to see this but you, so let loose! Give yourself permission to play. Others will naturally be curious (primarily because they want to play too) - let them be curious.